Your 9-5 isn’t preventing you from living your dream life. You are.
As much as this is a blog and guidance for you all, it is also a letter to myself. A reminder every time I want to make that excuse.
We often feel one of two paths related to building our dream life when also working a 9-5. Camp one feels as though if they had that time and energy back they would be able to put the time into building their dream life it deserves. The second camp feels as though maybe not having a 9-5 would push me to do finally what I need to do.
You know what? You are probably right. But are you going to go quit your 9-5 tomorrow to do that? Probably not? Then okay, there is no longer a point to bitch and moan about it. It is what it is, and you either will deal with the situation, or just not live your dream life. I think the answer is pretty simple there.
If you are thinking that is not helpful advice, you would be for the most part correct. It is the biggest limiting belief I see. Everyone buys into this notion that their 9-5 prevents them from doing anything that they want to with their life. Isn’t that crazy? People don’t have time to be kind to their own body, to spend time with the people they love, hell, even spend time with themselves. Because of their 9-5…
SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM YOUR CORPORATE IDENTITY
First step is to recognize that you don’t have to be your corporate identity. This beautiful thing called marketing has normalized what life should be like under a corporate entity, and everyone just feeds it. Everyone is so busy all the time, don’t have time to take off, too tired to see friends they haven't seen in years. Are you really that busy? Or is that what everyone else says, so you have made that also part your identity? Is it really that important, or is that what you think will move you up the corporate ladder so you can trade more of your time for a few extra $$$’s, a better title, and an extra few days of vacation.
Recognize who you truly are and what qualities have been given to you. If you have given up things in your life that you are passionate about and enjoy because of work. THAT IS NOT YOUR IDENTITY THAT IS YOUR CORPORATE IDENTITY.
PS: If you only have two weeks of vacation as an adult in the US. Please get another job. Just do me a favor and look for a company that is European based, and your life will improve 10 fold. I haven't submitted a day off to be approved in 4 years now, haven't been asked for rationale one time. Also, they just have better benefits all around, but that's just an added bonus.
BLAME YOURSELF, NOT YOUR CORPORATE IDENTITY
Now that we have figured out what is truly us versus the identity that has been curated and given to us. We have to start blaming ourselves. We always want to pass the buck and for the longest time we have been passing it to our corporate identity but that isn't us.
You are the reason that you haven't done what you wanted to do. You are a grown ass adult, don’t blame your manager, some C-level figure head that you have never met, or don’t even know if they actually do anything.
When you don’t feel like doing something that coincides with building or living your dream life, ask yourself the question. Do I really not want to do this or I am just saying I am too tired from working? Should I not do this or do I just know that I may fail so I might as well put my time into my 9-5 that I know should work out? Am I really too busy or do I just value other peoples life and well being more than my own?
If you can come out of asking those questions and not put time into whatever your dream life is, then you should really do some self evaluation.
DETERMINE WHAT YOU WANT
Most people would likely put this step first. I think it is important to question our daily habits and activities to really determine if it is what we want or if it is what is easiest. We as people are by nature going to go with the safest route. Going to the 9-5 route is the dream life for most people. Most people have very simple desires and I respect the shit out of that. Some of my friends who just want to spend time with their wife, be close to their family, and are completely content with a few good vacations per year, there is no reason to look for anything else. It is the easiest and most consistent option.
But I feel that if you are reading this and got to this point, you are not one of those people. You want more, you know you are capable of more, you just need a little push to get there. You know what you need to do, but you have to look past what the identity that has been given to you, and determine exactly what you want. That you aren't your corporate identity and you what that other life that is a little more scary to get to but you know you are capable, just scared to take that leap.
I am here to tell you, that you don’t have to completely take the jump. I would never say that because I haven't, I am scared every day, but being able to separate myself and my desires from my corporate identity and being able to recognize when I am just feeding that false identity has been life altering to create the life I had always dreamt of.
Instead of saying no, I don't have time, I am too tired, I have decided what is important to me, and I will always say yes to those things. Ignore what I am indifferent about and definitely say no to what I don't want to. The rest of it I will figure out how to make time or have the funds for. Right now it is about building up that confidence in YOUR identity, in who YOU are, and not in the identity that you have fallen into.