Stop anxiety from stealing your dreams

Let’s be honest, fear and anxiety can be major dream killers.  You may have desires and things in your heart you want but anxiety looms overhead telling you everything that could go wrong, everyway it won’t work out, and that you aren’t good enough to have it.

As someone that has struggled with anxiety for most of my life I am no stranger to these intrusive and limiting thoughts.  They can sound so convincing that they can be extremely difficult to overcome.  They can keep you stuck right where you are even though you know you are made for more.  

But there is good news: your anxious thoughts aren’t true.   

The truth is that they are lies which if left unchecked can keep you from achieving the things you want in life.  Luckily you have the power and you get to decide whether you are going to believe them or not.  Of course it doesn’t always feel that easy so it is helpful to remember that anxiety is rooted in the future which means you are worrying over something that may not even happen!    

But I know better than anyone that those simple facts sometimes aren’t enough to quiet the overthinking voices in your head so here are some simple, practical ways you can take charge of your anxiety and not let it keep you from going after the things you want.

Understand your anxiety

Where is it coming from? Why are you feeling it at this moment? What is it about what you’re trying to do that worries you? Digging deeper into your anxiety and really exploring why you’re feeling that way will help you identify what's really keeping you from pursuing your dreams.  And once you know what is holding you back you can take actionable steps to remedy that piece of the situation.  

For example, maybe you’re feeling anxious about committing to going on a trip with the girls.  You know it will be tons of fun and a great way to catch up, but you still feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety that tells you your life will fall apart if you go.  After doing some deep thinking, you realize it is money that is making you feel anxious about the trip.  Once you know this is your hold up you get to rationally decide if it is something you want to continue with.  If you decide it is, then you can take some action to ease your anxieties about money.  Maybe you pick up a few extra shifts at work or cut back on some unnecessary daily expenditures before the trip so that you feel more comfortable with your budget.  

By taking the time to understand your anxiety about a situation instead of just letting it take control of you, you are giving yourself the ability to change things that worry you so you can proceed with confidence.

Play the ‘worst case’ game

Part of an anxious mind is imagining all the terrible things that could go wrong in a future situation where the outcome is unknown.  Those unknowns can be enough to keep you from doing anything because they can seem so scary.  

So take some time to think about what the worst case would be in your situation and then determine if that was the outcome, could you handle it?  If you realize ‘that would suck but i could get over it’ then go for it! If that worst case scenario is something you absolutely wouldn’t be able to recover from then you know that whatever it is isn’t worth it to you.  

Let's say you started seeing someone new.  You really like them and you can see the possibility of a great relationship but because of some past relationship trauma you are scared of them unexpectedly leaving you with no warning or explanation.  So you ask yourself, what is the worst case of me pursuing this relationship? 

‘Well I’m scared that I’ll get my heartbroken like it was last time’ 

Were you able to recover from your broken heart last time?

‘Yes’

Would you be able to recover from a broken heart again?

‘Yeah I think I could’

Ok then even if the worst thing happened, you would still be ok!

Lets play again

Say you want to start your own business but you're hesitant because it could fail.

What is the worst case?

‘My business completely fails and everyone thinks I’m a total loser’

Do you think people who fail when they take risks are total losers?

‘No actually I still think they pretty courageous for trying”

And what would happen if you did fail?

‘I guess I would just try to do something else’

And would that be a bad thing?

‘No, I don’t think it would’

Ok then you should go for it because even if there is a possibility you fail, you will come out just fine.

Thinking about the worst case helps you put things into perspective because you often realize that even if something bad happens, you would still be ok.  It can take some of the fear out of going for the things you want because you know that you can handle even the worst thing you can imagine.  Plus, the truth is that there is no guarantee that the worst case is going to happen! You’re honestly more likely to have a great result if you take a risk and go for something you want!

Talk it through with someone trusted

It's so easy to get stuck in your own head and think that the way you’re seeing things is the only way they can be seen.  So getting a fresh voice can help put things into perspective. 

Maybe they tell you something you hadn’t thought of before because you were too engulfed in all the things that could go wrong. 

They can encourage you because they see things in you that are sometimes hard to see in yourself.

They can remind you of all the greatness you’ve experienced in the past that you might have forgotten about or not even acknowledged as something great.

Most importantly they can help remind you that you are loved and worthy and that your value doesn’t come from your accomplishments or what other people think about you. 

Take small steps

Make lists with practical things you can do each day to get you closer to your goal.  

Don’t overwhelm yourself, it’s ok if you just do one of the things on your list each day.

Small progress is still progress and the more things you do the more confident you will become and the easier it will be to keep going. 

And make sure to be proud of yourself for the steps you are taking and don’t get down on yourself for the days you don’t do anything.

Even if you are going slow, you are still going and that is something to be extremely proud of. 

Don’t undersell your progress and always be proud of your growth.  Love yourself through the journey! 

The most important thing to know when fighting to overcome your anxiety is that you can do anything you set your mind to.  Your anxiety doesn’t have to control your life and you can still go after the things you want.  Anxiety is a force that doesn’t go away quickly and is likely something that you will have to work to overcome forever but by taking small steps you can lessen its hold on your life. 

You can follow your dreams and deserve to see them come into reality!